Church Notice Typos

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mallosa
Posts: 22250
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Primary Surname Interests: Rollason, Henley/Hendley, Evans, Taylor, Brookes, Lenton, Wilson and Mallon
Primary Geographical Research Areas: Dudley, Rowley Regis, Oldbury, Birmingham and Ireland
Location: Yardley, Birmingham

Church Notice Typos

Post by mallosa »

This is sooo funny :grin:


The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

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Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
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Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'
Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'
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Northern Lass
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by Northern Lass »

Those are brilliant!

loved this one
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

:(
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Rob
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by Rob »

Those are good Mally!1 :lol:
My fave- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. :lol: :lol:
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mallosa
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Location: Yardley, Birmingham

Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by mallosa »

Mine is - "Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered." :lol:
If you would like to have your ancestors photo's included in our Gallery, please send me a pm.

Researching: Evans, Rollason, Henley/Hendley, Brookes, Taylor (Wilson - Birmingham)
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BC Wench
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by BC Wench »

:lol: Brill Mally, love them all.
Researching: PARGETER, BELCHER, BRADLEY, DANDO, ROWLEY, ROWSELL
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Annie
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by Annie »

They are brilliant Mallosa I love them all but my favourit - "Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered."
:shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: .

Annie
cid
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by cid »

Best laugh i've had in ages.......... Can't type for tears............
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MarkCDodd
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by MarkCDodd »

Thanks for the chuckle! :lol:
Black Holes happen when God divides by zero.
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grangers14
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Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by grangers14 »

:lol: Oh so funny!
Do you mind if I send them to a friend?
Jo :)
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mallosa
Posts: 22250
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:59 pm
Primary Surname Interests: Rollason, Henley/Hendley, Evans, Taylor, Brookes, Lenton, Wilson and Mallon
Primary Geographical Research Areas: Dudley, Rowley Regis, Oldbury, Birmingham and Ireland
Location: Yardley, Birmingham

Re: Church Notice Typos

Post by mallosa »

Not in the least Jo, spread a litlle happiness eh? :grin:
If you would like to have your ancestors photo's included in our Gallery, please send me a pm.

Researching: Evans, Rollason, Henley/Hendley, Brookes, Taylor (Wilson - Birmingham)
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