I'm a member of
http://www.raogk.org/, and some of the things you end up doing can inevitably get pretty involved and/or time consuming. I must admit, there have been times recently when I've felt exactly the same.
I think unfortunately, within the last couple of years, genealogy has gone from being a niche hobby to a mainstream pastime and, as it's done so, the number of people who expect to have large amounts of information handed to them on a plate has increased as well. I think the only constructive way to deal with it is to ensure that there are well written FAQs available which you can point people at and say "Go read this. If you still think I can help after you've read it, let me know". At least that way people have some concept of how much work you're volunteering to do for them, and they might think twice before imposing a major task on a total stranger.
Over the last year or so, I've taken countless trips to the FRC, driven more miles than I dare consider, and spent far more than I could reasonably afford on my research. In doing so, I've learnt a massive amount, and I hope to put together a beginner's guide to post on this site soon. One thing I think I will mention within it is how to handle requests to other people for assistance, at the same time pointing out that it's actually a real person at the other end of things doing the work for you, and that they'd probably appreciate just a few words of thanks.
Personally, I have a philisophy which I laughingly refer to as the 'Karmic Method' of research. Every time you have to go ask someone else for help, do twice as much for another random person in return. It sounds stupid, but sometimes going off and practicing your methods, or looking somewhere you wouldn't normally be looking can prove to be far more helpful than you'd ever expect.
Dominic
WHY IS IT THEN THAT I HAVE NOT HAD ONE SINGLE MEASLY EMAIL THANKING ME FOR THE RESEARCH, SUGGESTIONS AND TIME THAT I HAVE PUT IN TO ALL THIS???? - IT DOSENT TAKE MUCH DOES IT!!! 
