Sensitive information

[Al.Robs]

Any advice on how to handle this when researching. I'm starting to do some research into my family tree, on behalf of my mum, but she's quite 'sensitive' about some of it. There's is an illegitimate baby at some point and at least one affair. To my generation this isn't a big deal but to her it's quite uncomfortable. I'm not sure what else I might find and wonder if it's worth telling her details or just saying I haven't found anything.
Has anyone experienced this kind of thing?

[gardener]

You could try discussing "someone else's" research with her first, before you find anything out in your own (or pretend that is the case). Say that you have joined this forum and people on it have hair-raising stories of what they found out. Then you can wonder aloud how it would be to find out something about your own family.
See how your mum responds. Some people take it in their stride and some don't.

[Rob]

I think everyone researching their family history will find sensitive things out. I keep certain bits of information to myself when discussing family history with certain older members of my family. It could prove distressing. As you say Al.Robs to our generation this isn't a big deal.

[Northern Lass]

I think everyone researching their family history will find sensitive things out. I keep certain bits of information to myself when discussing family history with certain older members of my family. It could prove distressing. As you say Al.Robs to our generation this isn't a big deal.

OOoh Rob what things have you found about your family.....anything juicy!...and more importantly is it on Bcc

[peterd]

Our generation ? Rob the lad of working generation not a pensioner

al rob i would rent for a few weeks to see what area you like or have a few weekends looking around before moving also go on the police web site to check crime rate in area

[dudleytaylor]

I think if it distresses your mom u should leave it out . My father married twice and his first wife died in very sad circumstances I do not see the need to distress others by discussing her death on the family tree . So I think you would be wise to do the same

[Rob]

Can I just convey my excuses Ai.Rob for the immature comments of some of the people on here.Is your name short for Alf Roberts?

[Al.Robs]

Ha, I think I need to try to change my username, this is the second time I've had to explain that I just put the first part f my first name with the first part of my second name, I obviously needed to spend more time on it

But with regards to the sensitive information I think I'll try and discuss 'someone else's' information first and see how she reacts. Although there must be a lot fo stories like this from during the first and second world war.

Thanks all