Piuck on the Aussies day.
Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:44 am
Q: What is the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral?
A: One less drunk at the funeral.
An Englishman wants to marry an Irish girl and is told he needs to become Irish before he can do so. It is a very simple operation where they remove 5% of your brain.
Anyway the englishman wakes up after the operation and the doctor comes up to him looking all worried and say "I am terribly sorry, theres been a mistake to be sure, we accidently removed 50% of your brain instead of 5%!"
The Englishman sits up and simply says "She'll be right, mate!"
Q: What is the difference between yogurt and Australia?
A: Yogurt has some culture!
An Aussie man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
A: One less drunk at the funeral.
An Englishman wants to marry an Irish girl and is told he needs to become Irish before he can do so. It is a very simple operation where they remove 5% of your brain.
Anyway the englishman wakes up after the operation and the doctor comes up to him looking all worried and say "I am terribly sorry, theres been a mistake to be sure, we accidently removed 50% of your brain instead of 5%!"
The Englishman sits up and simply says "She'll be right, mate!"
Q: What is the difference between yogurt and Australia?
A: Yogurt has some culture!
An Aussie man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
