Keeping in Touch??

[amy]

Sites like this, lost cousins, emails through genealogy websites, cousin connect, all of those, often give us opportunities to get in touch with distant family members. For me it is always a thrill to get a new contact, send off that first email and get their first reply. Often new information comes with it but either way you feel like you are really fleshing out your ancestral tree because it relates to real life living people, but then what?

Do any of you have the same trouble I do of keeping in touch? I was going through my mailbox a few days ago to clean it up and get rid of the three year old newsletters etc and I came across emails I received from people I had found through Ancestry when I signed up on a free trial. They all start with me introducing myself, asking if they are related and asking them to reply. Then they do, and I do, and maybe they do again.. and then thats it. Should there be a cut off point for being a 'relative'? If someone is your 4th cousin 6 times removed is it even worth making contact? or maintaining it? What do you talk about? I mean, once you have got what you wanted (new info??), should you build a relationship with someone who is actually a complete stranger to you?

I have never been a good correspondent but should I be making more effort? Am I the only one wondering about this?

How do YOU keep in touch with your 'rellies'??? (and how often).

Amy from Oz

[gardener]

Hi Amy
I am so bad at this! In fact your message reminded me that I got an email a couple of weeks ago which I still need to reply to. I put it off because I can't place the name and know it must be on my old computer somewhere. Fatal to put things off isn't it?
I had another email from someone this week and can't recall who they are either so I replied with a vague "How are you" and they replied in a similar way so I still don't know who that is! No doubt I should have a file with names and email addresses plus notes on who folk are, just never get around to it.

[BC Wench]

Hello Amy,

On reading your post I thought straight away of 2 people I've kept in constant contact through family research. I've just dug out the first email I received from my 3rd cousin once removed who lives in New Zealand and I can't believe that we've been corresponding since 2001 !! Her Gt. Grandfather and my Gt. Gt. Grandfather were brothers, with her Grandfather emigrating to New Zealand. At first we talked mainly on family history, she gave me details of her side of the family and vice versa. We just talk about anything and everything now, family, weather, sport - just anything, exchange photos. The first time we spoke to each on the phone (she pays ) lasted over an hour, it was fantastic, just as though we had known each other for years, I couldn't believe it.

My other contact is my 4th cousin once removed who lives in Canada and we've been corresponding since 2007. Again starting off with family history and exchanging photos. She provides me with info on the Canadian side and I provide her with info on her ancestors in the Black Country. We correspond now mainly on our personal situations.

I wonder if this is a woman to woman thing, man to man thing and not so much a woman to man - if you get what I mean. Would be nice to hear from a gents point of view.

[Maths girl]

Hello Amy,

On reading your post I thought straight away of 2 people I've kept in constant contact through family research. I've just dug out the first email I received from my 3rd cousin once removed who lives in New Zealand and I can't believe that we've been corresponding since 2001 !! Her Gt. Grandfather and my Gt. Gt. Grandfather were brothers, with her Grandfather emigrating to New Zealand. At first we talked mainly on family history, she gave me details of her side of the family and vice versa. We just talk about anything and everything now, family, weather, sport - just anything, exchange photos. The first time we spoke to each on the phone (she pays ) lasted over an hour, it was fantastic, just as though we had known each other for years, I couldn't believe it.

My other contact is my 4th cousin once removed who lives in Canada and we've been corresponding since 2007. Again starting off with family history and exchanging photos. She provides me with info on the Canadian side and I provide her with info on her ancestors in the Black Country. We correspond now mainly on our personal situations.

I wonder if this is a woman to woman thing, man to man thing and not so much a woman to man - if you get what I mean. Would be nice to hear from a gents point of view.

After reading your post I feel as though I really must get back to some fo the people I have met while researching -- hopefully with the Easter break coming up I will have time and then I will have no excuse!

[peterd]

Sites like this, lost cousins, emails through genealogy websites, cousin connect, all of those, often give us opportunities to get in touch with distant family members. For me it is always a thrill to get a new contact, send off that first email and get their first reply. Often new information comes with it but either way you feel like you are really fleshing out your ancestral tree because it relates to real life living people, but then what?

Do any of you have the same trouble I do of keeping in touch? I was going through my mailbox a few days ago to clean it up and get rid of the three year old newsletters etc and I came across emails I received from people I had found through Ancestry when I signed up on a free trial. They all start with me introducing myself, asking if they are related and asking them to reply. Then they do, and I do, and maybe they do again.. and then thats it. Should there be a cut off point for being a 'relative'? If someone is your 4th cousin 6 times removed is it even worth making contact? or maintaining it? What do you talk about? I mean, once you have got what you wanted (new info??), should you build a relationship with someone who is actually a complete stranger to you?

I have never been a good correspondent but should I be making more effort? Am I the only one wondering about this?

How do YOU keep in touch with your 'rellies'??? (and how often).

Amy from Oz

hi amy i can understand you point of view about a possible cut of point but what if your only living relative that you can find was a 4th cousins 6 times removed and he was willing to welcome into his family then how would you percieve your point of view all i can say on this matter if people join a forum then the should at least pop in to check that nobody has posted an answer to ther querry? (or whats the purpose in people joining forums if not to make contact ?) hopefully the more the better i wish some one could sort my evans out

[MarkCDodd]

Some I keep in constant contact with.

Others are "leeches" who suck up all your data and vanish into the ether.

I have been to a couple of get togethers on my wife's side and its wonderful to here the stories of the people on your tree.

[Farmers daughter]

I keep in touch with a fair number of "relatives" I have found, but sometimes, someone will get forgotten. When you work full time and have alot of stuff going on in your life it is difficult to keep up the written relationship. I find the ones I keep in touch the most with are folks I have connected with that I have alot in common with and some of them are non-relatives ( at least we established that) but we can still help each other out. I'm even bad at checking in to forums I belong to

Farmers daughter

[BC Wench]

Some I keep in constant contact with.

Others are "leeches" who suck up all your data and vanish into the ether.

I have been to a couple of get togethers on my wife's side and its wonderful to here the stories of the people on your tree.

I've had my fair share of "leeches" as well Mark. I'd loooove to have a get together with my NZ and Canadian rellies. I'll have to keep going out to work and save my pennies before the tax man gets at them

[Northern Lass]

I am going to get all mushy.....

and say that one of the best things I did was find my 3rd cousin? online who helped me with everything
to do with Genealogy and I drove her bonkers as she will verify
Yes Gardener YOU!

She is one of the kindest, most generous beautiful people I know
and I just wished she lived nearer!

Ok that's it!

apart from
I was really touched in the look up offers when I saw that post by Alice and then Little Christines reply
and I thought how wonderful that they are with us on the BCC tree and sharing information as we all are
for each other and having a good time doing it....nice xx