Thanks Adrian
That really does help to put things in perspective.
I'm pretty sure now that my Gr grandfather was the way he was because of the war. My gran and gr uncle wouldn't have remembered much about him from before the war as they were born in 1914 and 1913 respectively.
Their descriptions of him were that he was strict, they weren't allowed to use local slang. He was hard working but drank a lot, kept their mother short of money (she cleaned for a local family without his knowledge). He was well respected in the community. Both my gran and gr uncle didn't like him, and I get the impression that when he died in 1928 she wasn't sad about it. I remember asking my gr uncle what religion his father had (when I first started researching the family) he answered "M and B" - I must have looked puzzled, he explained that he meant Mitchells and Butlers - the brewers! I know a lot of men were like this, but I get the impression that he was especially hard.
We were never as close to the other great aunts and uncles, so I never had any impression of how they felt about their father, but I do know he softened up on the birth of his first grandchild - she was given an expensive doll which my granmother always coveted, as she never had anything that fine.
Unfortunately all of John's children have now passed away, so there's no one left to ask.
Thanks again for your help